photo by steed media service

Like that omnipresent pink elephant, fear of commitment is something that’s always been around, but we choose not to address it seriously. Maybe it’s just easier for people to believe that their single status is solely attributable to the shortcomings of others. Or perhaps, they’re unaware that they are afraid of commitment. Whatever the case, I’m determined to uncover the true source of commitment anxiety. Here are three prime indicators that you or someone you know is suffering from a fear of commitment.

1. You often choose your career over developing a meaningful relationship. There’s nothing wrong with working hard to develop a successful career ... in fact, I encourage it. I do, however, strongly discourage a lack of balance between work and relationships — that would be like Chris Tucker only acting in Rush Hour movies, which we all know could never happen.

Your career can’t win out every time. If you find yourself choosing to quiz yourself on the employee handbook rather than having a meaningful conversation with a potentially special someone, then you may, indeed, suffer from a fear of commitment.

2. You often cancel your date plans at the last minute. I consider this behavior a form of self-sabotage. You enjoy spending time with this person, and they’re obviously into you. But for some reason, you’re always making some last-minute excuse as to why you need to cancel the date. It could be anything from having to work late, to your Aunt Loretta suddenly getting food poisoning at the Waffle House. In the end, all you’re really doing is scattering, smothering and killing any real shot at developing a serious relationship. You could have been out having a nice time, and now you’re at home alone watching a “Who’s the Boss?” marathon on TV Land.

3. You tend to date people who are off limits. The obvious intention of this peculiarity, is that you only date people that are either married or seriously involved with someone else. I call this the Angelina Jolie principle. While she eventually did land Brad, I would strongly advise against using her method as a dating blueprint.

And then you have those who habitually date the emotionally scarred. That’s the Dennis Rodman method, as these singles tend to only date people on the rebound. By consistently dating those who are emotionally incapable of seriously investing themselves in you, you’re subconsciously eliminating the need to commit. - the fly guy

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