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I love you. Let’s face it, at some point we all want to hear those three magic words. And if you’re shaking your head in disagreement while reading this, then maybe you needed about two more hugs as a child. But what happens when you start dating someone and they drop the “L” bomb on you a little too soon? That can be about as uncomfortable as Michael Vick reading his new bank statement. That’s why I’ve decided to bless you with three ways to avoid I love you. Take this advice, and you’ll be able to dodge that phrase better than Bobby Brown dodges his child-support payments.

Start Crying
That’s right.
Turn those faucets on. You need to cry harder than Kanye West during someone else’s awards show acceptance speech. The moment will become awkward, but in your favor. They’ll be so concerned about making sure you’re OK, that any thought of your response will be put on hold.
Chance of Success: 87 percent

Tell A “Crazy” Relationship Story
As soon as they say it, you have to straighten up really quick. Tell them you’re not ready to hear that, because of what happened the last time someone told you that so soon. “In my last relationship, I was told that early on, and they turned out to be an escaped felon who was wanted in six states for being a serial midget abuser.” Instantly they’ll get defensive, and start trying to convince you that they’re not crazy. They’ll even show their certificate for completing the “Little People Sensitivity Workshop.” Problem solved.
Chance of Success: 92 percent

Be Straight Up
Honesty is always the best policy. Sometimes it can be the most uncomfortable option, but it gets top billing on my list. Tell them you appreciate how they feel, but you just aren’t there yet. They may feel more slighted than Stevie Wonder at the DMV, but at least they’ll respect your honesty.
Chance of Success: 98 percent

The Fly Guy Moral: Regardless of how you handle the situation, keep one thing in mind: You should never play with someone’s emotions. If the feeling isn’t mutual, don’t take the easy way out by saying I love you, too. Once you cross that line, there’s no turning back. You’ll avoid a lot of confusion down the road if you remain honest about your feelings and respectful of theirs.–the fly guy

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