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When approaching a woman for the first time, finding the right icebreaker takes a certain level of dating expertise. Oftentimes, the art of courtship gets bogged down with pickup lines that, instead of piquing interest, have women racing to the nearest exit.

Typically, women look for a certain level of companionship. Regardless of her preference for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, the initial introduction determines whether her attention will be focused on what you’re saying or when you’re leaving. Ironically, the best pickup line is to actually not have one. A more genuine conversation gives her the opportunity to see your true personality. To provide a bit of clarity on the dos and don’ts of attracting a woman, here are some suggestion that may increase your chances to see her again.

• Confidence is the key. This can be tricky because not enough confidence implies weakness. Too much will be equated with conceit. It is important to find a balance.

• Appearance and poise are important. Women almost always assume the best-dressed men are the most successful. A man who carries himself well is off to a good start.

• The right cologne. Wearing nice cologne is appreciated, but don’t overdo it. Just enough fragrance will, at the very least, get her to say, “Mmm … he smells good.”

• Pay attention. Once you do approach, listen to what she is saying. Notice her body language. If she tells you her name, incorporate it in the conversation. More often than not, a woman will give you signs of her interest in the first few minutes of the conversation. Being observant will help you recognize if you are wasting your time.

If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it. There are many contributing factors to whether or not a woman may give you the time of day. Things like timing and mood can affect on her response. Women are approached regularly, and if you have all the basics in place and she still is not interested, consider it her loss.

Just like submitting a well-written résumé for a job is crucial to gaining an interview, your personal presentation is critical to attaining the woman of your dreams. You want to give just enough information about yourself to leave a favorable impression, while withholding just enough data to create a level of interest in getting to know more about you. - j. jamison

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