photo by steed media service

Every relationship requires a strong foundation. And when two people are focused on building a long-lasting relationship together, it means living, learning and discovering how to establish a cohesive bond. Here are some behaviors couples should avoid when trying to grow together:

1. Avoid pretense. It is typical for people to get excited about the possibilities a new relationship offers. However, don’t get stuck in the trying to impress mode. If you pretend to be the person you think your potential partner wants you to be, if they do fall in love, it won’t be with the real you.

2. Drop singlehood habits. Although, “It’s all about me” looks great printed on the front of a T-shirt, honestly, that is the only place it should be applied. People oftentimes forget how to compromise when they have been single for a while. But just as communication and understanding are vital to the life of any relationship, so is compromise.

3. Out with the old. Mama used to say; “You can’t bring in new things if the old things are still in place.” A lot of people focus so much on what happened in past relationships that they tend to lose sight of the present relationship. Stop punishing your partner for your ex’s mistakes.

4. Accept them for who they are. Don’t let your expectations be your downfall. Try not to focus on who you would like your partner to be and become more concerned with who they are. No one is perfect and when a person shows you who they are, don’t expect anything other than that.

Relationships are hard work. Every loving partnership that has survived years of trials and remained steadfast throughout required a concerted effort from both people. The key to avoiding disappointment in a relationship ultimately means leaving the fantasies in the fairy tale books where they belong and not being unreasonable. –jamana jamison

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