photo by steed media service

Joanna was at work when she received the following text message: OUR SPECIAL NIGHT TONIGHT. She was so exhilarated by the endless possibilities that such a statement might entail, that the remainder of her work day seemed to suddenly crawl at a snail’s pace. Once off work, she rushed home, cleaned the house and prepared a great meal that he wouldn’t soon forget. When the appointed hour was upon her, he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he’s just stuck in traffic she thought…but for two hours??? Worried that the worst might have happened, she called his best friend Tyrone, only to discover that he was still over at Tyrone’s house trying to get one more game of Madden in. At that point, Joanna was faced with a sad reality: Her man was heavily involved with the other “woman.”

Joanna isn’t alone, as many other women deal with similar circumstances on a daily basis. The other woman’s name can vary depending on her man’s preferences. She could be Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Wii, or any other video game consoles that occupies a man’s life in the same ways that a woman does. “She” holds his attention, taking his money and energy.

When faced with such a dilemma, many women just want to wash their hands of the entire situation. But before such a drastic step is taken, one should first communicate how they feel. Unless you tell him his behavior negatively affects you and the relationship, then he won’t know. It may surprise you, but there is room for the both of you in his life. Explain the importance of time for just the two of you, with no interruptions. Do this by scheduling out one day of the week devoted solely to the two of you. Then let him know, that it is still ok for him to find time for “her,” as long as it doesn’t conflict with the time you share together. You should never feel like you’re playing tug-of-war with his time. - adrienne gadling

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