Have you ever had a meal so good that you felt like your hunger couldn’t possibly be satisfied unless you had a second plate? Have you ever noticed that roller coasters are the most fun when you ride them a second time? Well interestingly enough, a lot of second-time-around relationships are done for the same reasons: you didn’t get enough the first time or the initial thrills were so exciting you couldn’t resist a dose of déjá vu. Whether or not giving it the old college try is the right thing to do, there are some issues that should be settled before you dive in headfirst … again.

Remember why you left. Sometimes your judgment can get clouded by the feelings you developed for someone else and you may tend to forget why the relationship didn’t stand the test of time. When you remain entangled in the sentimental aspect of what used to be, remembering why you walked away can become more and more unclear.

Vacuum syndrome. Every time you head for the door, it seems like there’s an invisible force field that sucks you back in like a Hoover vacuum. It could be her infectious laugh, or it might be his irresistible charm, but there’s some aspect of the relationship that you’re not ready to give up on. If you’re suffering from the vacuum syndrome, make sure that what’s keeping you there isn’t hurting either one of you mentally or physically.

It’s comfortable. Don’t go back to a relationship because you’re used to that person. It’s understandable if you aren’t interested in getting back into the dating scene; however, relationships shouldn’t be treated like that pair of socks or that bra that you’ve worn for years because it’s comfortable. You should take the time to figure out honestly why you want to try again, and come up with reasons other than, “We have been together this long …” Being in a relationship is constant work. Repairing a relationship that has failed before is even more of a struggle. Just take the time to weigh the pros and cons of the situation and if the good heavily outweighs the bad, then having a second helping or taking another joy ride might be worth it. -jamana jamison

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