dear abiola

Abiola Abrams Advice Goddess, TV Host, Author & Indie Filmmaker

Eighty percent of your letters are seeking breakup advice. Your girl Abiola is no stranger to breakups. My novel, Dare, is about rebounding. I’m monogamous by nature although I love a fly date. I had one major breakup a couple of years ago and in hindsight, good riddance. I also had a mini-breakup a few months ago from a situation I would’ve advised you to run from: baby mama/fiancé, scandal — a mess! But, ces’t la vie. This is my Public Service Announcement: Top 10 Ways to Move On and Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt.

1. Listen to good breakup music. Singer Cheri Dennis told me that her drama became her album In and Out of Love.

2. Program your phone not to ring if he calls.

3. Don’t speak to him again ever, or for 12 weeks, whichever comes first! 

4. Have fun. Living well is the best revenge. Sing, dance, pray or go to the movies.

5. Be social. See who else is out there. Word.

6. Give away anything that reminds you of el jerko. I gave my ex’s Army watch to the homeless.

7. Send the loser good energy. You’re the bigger person, right?

8. Don’t text, e-mail or leave voice mails cussing him out. Write only letters that you never send and vent to friends. Healing is about you not him.

9. Make better choices next time. When we know better, we do better.

10. From Dare:

a) Create a voodoo doll of him.
b) Stick it with exactly 47 pins.
c) Bash him in the face with it. Ha ha! Don’t do that, but it is funny. See, you’re smiling again. 

xoxo,
abiola

Abiola Abrams is a BET personality, author, filmmaker and motivator. Email your questions from Abiola’s site www.thegoddessfactory.com or myspace.com/goddessfactory. You can buy her novel Dare wherever you buy books and watch The Planet Abiola Show on blackplanet.com/planetabiola.

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