"Life can get all up in yo' a-, baby, you better work it out." Those words uttered by De La Soul reverberated throughout my thought process about a decade ago, when life came down on me pretty hard. Fresh out of college, I'd decided to go on working in my family's business and my people had some surprises for me.

I was employed at a barber school started in 1946 by my grandfather that was about to see its 50th anniversary. My father managed the business and my uncle was the financial aid officer. I was busy getting acclimated to the real world and paying off debts, so my surprise was considerable when my relatives and other employees at the place started talking to me as if I would keep working there forever. I was shocked; why the heck did I embark upon obtaining an undergrad degree in humanities if I'd be permanently staying at this humble institution? I'd never planned on becoming a permanent fixture there.

Cultural critic/author bell hooks has a statement in her book, Outlaw Culture, about black males being disenfranchised in American society, finding that the practice of sexism is their only way of practicing the patriarchal power they are told all men should possess. Surely, for black men, another way of taking part in patriarchy is dominating their sons. I'm not saying it was about this at my family's business. But my relatives pushed their own agenda upon me as hard as they could. As the business fell upon difficult times and my father was diagnosed with cancer, it seemed more and more likely that I'd hang around forever. I won't explain how I escaped the situation my people laid out for me, but I hope that I'll never be so vulnerable to the life-destroying chokehold of patriarchy again. - forrest green III

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